TodayI feelUseless.Hopeless.Unwanted.In the way. Not self pityJust the awarenessThat life as we know itKeeps going on. Some of usAre left behind for a while.Like missing the last busOut to happiness. […]
cancer / devotional / faith / Grief / Widowhood
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Softer…Or Stronger
I wish I were stronger. Friedrich Nietzsche said, “That which does not kill you makes you stronger.” In many ways, that’s true. Studies have actually shown that many people who […]
cancer / devotional / faith / Grief / Trauma / Widowhood
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The Purpose of Fire: That I May Come Forth as Gold
My girls and I love a bonfire. There’s just something about that smokey smell that lingers in your hair, the mix of autumn chill with the fire’s warmth and the […]
cancer / faith / Grief / Widowhood
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It’s Not About Cancer
She looked at me with tears streaming down my face and said, “It’s not about you.” At the moment, it felt harsh, but it was truth. That’s the reason I […]
faith / Grief / Widowhood
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You’re My Promised Land
Our congregation enjoyed their first service in our brand new building this past Sunday. I didn’t go. The truth is, I have been both anticipating and dreading this day for […]
Marriage / Widowhood
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How I Wish: Spending Your Birthday Without You
How I wish I could wake you at dawn with a “happy birthday” kiss and snuggle my head into that perfect little spot between your shoulder and your heart that […]
devotional / faith / Grief
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When I Am Afraid
Last night, we did some sunset tubing on the lake. My youngest had been looking forward to it all day, but when the time came for her to get on […]
Child Loss / faith / Grief / Parenting
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In God We Trust: When God Calls You to Hard Things
In God we trust. But what does that mean? I thought I knew, but I’m learning trust at a whole new level these days. For my first 21 years, I […]
Anorexia / faith / Grief / Trauma
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The Thorn: When God Doesn’t Heal the Wound
Guest post by Kat Smith I wish this was easier; I wish God would just provide healing and escape. But maybe I won’t ever find peace on this earth. Maybe […]
faith / Grief / Parenting
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I Surrender All. Even This…
I’ve been a fighter since birth. Strong-willed, passionate, determined, stubborn, pig-headed—whatever you want to call it—that’s me. It’s not all bad. It saved my life, once upon a time. It […]
devotional / faith / Grief
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The Cave of Grief
They say one of the darkest places on earth is the “dark zone” inside a cave. Sure, people have successfully lived in the entrance of caves for millennia, but something […]
cancer / child loss / faith / Grief
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I Can’t Do This, It Hurts Too Much
“I can’t do this! It hurts too much.” I remember looking up at my husband with pleading eyes and saying these words. And he looked down at me with compassion […]