When Will You Surrender?

Two years ago, I’m sitting on the third row, just before worship on a Sunday morning—pretty discouraged and praying for clarity—when God hits me between the eyes with this question: “Child, when are you going to surrender?” At first, I thought, “What do you mean? I can’t think of anyone more willing to serve you than me!” Quickly, He reminded me that Abraham and Sarah were also willing, yet they birthed Ishmael.

Willingness isn’t the same as submission.

What, then, is surrender?

When our son was a little boy, some friends took him bowling. It wasn’t long before my phone rang. Logan was in the emergency room, needing stitches in his chin. It seemed he had missed a very important step in the bowling process—release. He had committed to getting the ball down the lane, but not enough to fully surrender the ball.

In Psalm 37, David wrote, “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act…Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” His son, Solomon, put it this way: “Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.”

Did you know the Hebrew word for “commit” in both Proverbs 16:3 and Psalm 37:5 literally means “roll?” In essence, “Roll your idea of the way things ‘should be’ over to Jesus, Audra.” But how? In order to roll something, I have to give up control of that thing. I must take my hands off. Let it go. Surrender.

Else, I’m going to end up needing spiritual stitches—or worse.

Sarah believed God would make a nation from Abraham’s seed, but she didn’t trust God’s timing. I mean, who can blame her; she was waiting a really. long. time! She suspected the Almighty may need a little help from her, so she hatched a foolish plan, and Abraham collaborated. God’s way was perfect; hers, not so much. The world is still reaping the consequences of that decision. (Read Genesis 16)

Sarah wasn’t wrong for wanting a child. Neither was it wrong for me to want to have a Kingdom mission for my life again. But it is wrong to get ahead of the Father.

Friends, I’m not interested in birthing an Ishmael. Which means I had to completely let go of doing things my way—rolling my calling to the Lord—believing that, if I fully trust Him with my purpose, then—and only then—will my thoughts and desires be agreeable to His perfect will.

It is only natural for valley-walkers to search for meaning as part of our mending. We all long to find the purpose in our pain. This desire for redemption makes sense. We are created in the image of Redeemer God, so it is in our very DNA to want to make right every wrong. But the only way for that to happen is to take my little hands off of the ball and let God be God. He is perfectly capable of getting us where we need to go.

He is working in our waiting, and His timing is perfect.

“When are you going to surrender?”

I’m not sure that’s what I wanted to hear that Sunday morning, as I asked God to show me my purpose, but it’s exactly what I needed to hear. Perhaps you need to hear that word from the Lord today, as well, remembering that our ultimate purpose is to be like Jesus—fully surrendered to the will of the Father.

And partial surrender isn’t surrender at all.

🩷Audra