Contentment, Even Now?

I often preach to myself that I need to be fully present in each season. It’s so tempting to always be looking forward to the next things:

• I “can’t wait” to be done with school.
• I “can’t wait” to land the perfect job.
• I “can’t wait” to get married.
• I “can’t wait” to have babies.
• I “can’t wait” until they are out of diapers.
• I “can’t wait” until they go to school.
• I “can’t wait” until they can drive.
• I “can’t wait” until they are adults.
• I “can’t wait” for grandchildren.
• I “can’t wait” to retire.

Before we know it, a lifetime has passed us by and we never truly enjoyed the moments God gave us.

But what do you do with seasons of grief?

When there are more questions than answers, dreams are shattered, and the future is fearsome, how can one help but long for an end to the suffering? Sure, we endure–because we have no choice—but we spend our days pining for a time when sorrow is no more and we are reunited with our loved ones for eternity. Living in the present can be excruciating, so we add yet another, “can’t wait.”

• I “can’t wait” until Jesus takes me Home to Heaven.

The problem is, the Apostle Paul told us that to live, is Christ. What’s more; Christ wants us to live abundantly. So, how can one possibly come to appreciate the “gift” of a terribly dark season of the soul? Is contentment even possible in the valley of the shadow?

Somewhere, in a pit of his own, Paul discovered the secret: “I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content—whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.”‭‭‬ (‭Phil 4‬:‭12‬-‭13)‬ ‭

Friend, the secret to contentment is the sufficiency of Christ.

Read that again.

People were never meant to satisfy the human heart. Possessions were never meant to satisfy the human heart. Position was never meant to satisfy the human heart. The human heart was designed to be satiated by Christ, alone.

Paul didn’t write this letter from a palace or even from a parsonage. He wrote these words from prison. Through JESUS, in JESUS and because of JESUS, true contentment is possible,

whatever. my. lot.

This is a really hard truth. If I am discontent, it is a spiritual problem. I am convicted by this. Yes, I have been trusting God to get me through this awful valley, but finding contentment here? Seriously? I hate it here! I want out. The sooner, the better. I don’t want to be a pastor’s widow. I don’t want to be a single mom. I don’t want to be vulnerable and lonely and afraid.

But God…

• Reminds me that He is with me in this season.

“For David says of Him: I saw the Lord ever before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” (Acts‬ ‭2‬:‭25‬) He goes before me. He walks beside me. He’ll never leave me. In the surety of His presence, there is peace.

• Shows me the treasures of this season.

I have gained so many beautiful things in this season of suffering… deeper faith, stronger character, greater humility and a softer heart, to name a few. But the greatest gain has been knowing my God more intimately than I ever could have done without this season of suffering. “I had heard of you with my ears, but now my eyes see you” (Job‬ ‭42‬:‭5)

• Assures me that seasons change when the time is right.

This one is a mixed bag. It’s like patiently awaiting the thing that scares you most. As badly as most of us want to get out of this valley, there is a large part of us that doesn’t want to move forward without our person. Then, there is the added aspect of future guilt. How could I even think about being happy again? What if I forget? Wouldn’t moving forward be a betrayal? Shouldn’t I just hole myself up, waiting for the day we can be rejoined in Heaven? Isn’t that what they would want? The answer is an emphatic “NO.” Your loved one wouldn’t want that, and neither does your Creator.

There is a time to mourn. There is a time to weep. There will even come a time to die. But those things are just seasons. And seasons come and go,

as God wills.

Right now, God, in His perfect love and sovereignty, wills for me to be in this exact season.

Oh, I can kick and scream and resent every second, if I want. Or, I can choose to draw nearer to His side and find in Him all I need to be satisfied. Satiated. Content.

Then, when the time is right, Winter will pass and Spring will come again.

And I can learn to be content with that, too… whatever it looks like.

🩷Audra