This blog is four years old today—born out of one of the darkest valleys of my life. If these birth-pangs were measurable, they’d certainly be a 10 on the Richter scale.
I am thankful for the unexpected ways God is using my story, and this truly is a labor of love—for Jesus and for my fellow valley-walkers, but that doesn’t assuage the agony of the delivery. For this new life, there is no epidural.
Would I have chosen this to be my story? Never! Are there still days I desperately wish this was all just a terrible nightmare from which I could awake? Honestly—yes. Have I asked God to take this cup from me and replace it with something more palatable? I have. Has He? He hasn’t.
Do I still trust Him and believe that His way is best? I do. Is He worthy of this? He is.
There are three hard truths I’ve preached to myself often over these past four years. They aren’t easy to receive, but they are vital on this path to post-traumatic growth.
- If I praise God in the good times and I don’t praise Him in the bad times, I know nothing of true praise. Conditional praise isn’t praise at all.
- If I become disillusioned when my mountain-moving faith doesn’t move mountains, the object of my faith wasn’t Jesus; the object of my faith was my faith, itself. Real faith trusts Him—even when He doesn’t move the mountain.
- If I can only worship on the mountaintop and not in the valley, then I am worshiping my circumstances and not my never-changing God. True worship takes my eyes off of myself, my circumstances, my world, and focuses them on Him alone.
I want to grow. I want to walk worthy. I want to point people to Jesus and make Heaven crowded. So, I continue to offer my story back to its Author, trusting Him with the pen, and thanking Him for four years of sustaining grace—believing His grace will continue to be sufficient for all the years to come.
Because He is enough. He is faithful. He is worthy.
No matter what.
Yes, sometimes a labor of love is immeasurably costly. He knows that. He gave everything.
🩷Audra
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. (Habakkuk 3:17-18)