They say one of the darkest places on earth is the “dark zone” inside a cave. Sure, people have successfully lived in the entrance of caves for millennia, but something […]
cancer / child loss / faith / Grief
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I Can’t Do This, It Hurts Too Much
“I can’t do this! It hurts too much.” I remember looking up at my husband with pleading eyes and saying these words. And he looked down at me with compassion […]
faith / Grief
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Going On a Bear Hunt in the Valley of Suffering
When I was in kindergarten, I used to love going on bear hunts. You know, the kind that take place in your imagination as you repeat after the teacher… We’re […]
faith / Grief
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My Story: The Pastor’s Widow
If I told you my story… I see my life in three chapters. Chapter one was my life before Jeremy. Chapter two was my life with Jeremy. Chapter three is […]
devotional / faith / Grief
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Joy and Sadness: Inside Out Living
A couple of years ago, we saw a cute, animated movie about the happenings inside a 12-yr-old girl’s mind. Each quirky character in “Inside Out” represents an emotion the preteen […]
devotional / faith / Grief
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When God Says No
Sometimes, God says, “no.” That’s when I find out how much of a spiritual toddler I am. I was talking to my sister’s widower yesterday. We were discussing our future […]
Child Loss / faith / Grief
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Childless on Mother’s Day
Friend, if you are dreading Mother’s Day, I see you. Twenty-two years ago, we said our final goodbye in this life to our only child. My first Mother’s Day was […]
devotional / faith / Grief
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PAUSE
I wear a pause button around my neck. A bit unconventional, I know, but that’s me. Just recently, people have started asking me about it. I purchased this necklace shortly […]
faith / Grief
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But If Not…
Each year, around November, Jeremy and I would sit down and make a cohesive plan for the next year. Church theme, student ministry theme, topics, lesson plans, activities, etc. In […]
faith / Grief
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He Loves Me. He Loves Me Not.
I think this may be what PTSD feels like. The nightmares and night sweats, heart palpitations and nausea, reliving the trauma and uncontrolled sobbing, irrational fears and fight or flight […]
child loss / Parenting
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Letting Go
I am determined to not let any of my pain get wasted. Which means, whenever I am in a trial, I do a lot of soul searching and scripture searching. […]