Wanna skip Christmas this year? I hear you. And I get it. But perhaps there’s another way.
Here are some thoughts on celebrating Christmas, even when our Christmas isn’t, at all, merry. 
1. Control the expectation 🎁
🎄 Don’t put unrealistic expectations on yourself.
Do what you need to do:
Listen to happy music—or don’t
Cry—or don’t
Look at pictures and reminisce—or don’t
Be around people—or not
Don’t do what you don’t need to do. Say no if you need to, but allow yourself room to change your mind. And give yourself permission to be sad, but also to enjoy sweet moments when they come.
🎄 Don’t try to meet others’ expectations.
It’s okay to do less, be less, help less, and need more for a while! Don’t try to make everything the same as before. It won’t be. It can’t be. But it can still be good.
🎄 Don’t require others to meet your expectations.
Communicate what you want or need, but remember that they may also be grieving in their own way. Sometimes, hurting people hurt the ones they love.
- Remember your person 🎁
I’ve found it doesn’t really help to ignore the elephant in the room. Find a way to honor their memory, even if it’s something small. The first year, we made a memorial ornament to hang on our tree. Last year, we put a tree outside, so others who loved him could add their ornaments, too.
- Do something for someone else 🎁
We often receive the most when we give to others. Find someone else who has no one this Christmas, and invite them into your season. Many elderly people are alone on Christmas. Or find a college student or single mom who can’t afford to go home for Christmas. This reminds us—and them—that we are not alone.
4. Make new traditions 🎁
Don’t be afraid to try something different. The first year, I wanted to keep everything the same, but decorating the tree and hanging the stockings was a huge trigger for everyone. So last year, I put the tree in a different room, bought new, personalized stockings for the kids, and even switched out many of the decorations. It made such a difference! One day, perhaps, we will be able to go back to the old traditions, but for now, I will do what helps my children focus on the joy.
- Remember the reason 🎁
I know, I know! Everyone always says that. But hear me out. The first Christmas wasn’t exactly easy for everyone, either. I imagine that blessed season was more than a little bit sad for God, the Father, as He gave His only son to a sin-torn world that couldn’t save itself. And they didn’t even notice. He understands grief.
Jesus was leaving the glories of Heaven for a world that would reject Him.
A nation grieved, as Herod sent soldiers to slaughter her children.
Mary grieved the life and future she had dreamed.
The Holy Spirit is grieved every time we sin.
If your holiday is snowmen and Santa Claus, maybe there is no reason to celebrate. Who wants to sing about “A Holly Jolly Christmas” when they’re sad?
But if your understanding of Christmas is that the Son of God took on flesh to die on a cross for us, take away the consequences of sin, make eternal life possible, and ultimately defeat death, then you still have a reason to celebrate! How you celebrate it—what your celebration looks like—may be different, and that’s totally fine. But the reason for celebrating this holiday is now more real to us than ever before.
We have hope because of Christmas! Hope for tomorrow AND hope for today. My faith has made all the difference in my grieving process. Because I know this life is not all there is, I can continue to face each day with purpose. Because time is short.
Because people have an eternal destiny and it’s my job to introduce them to Jesus. I also have hope in knowing that those I’ve lost are not lost to Him.
You and I are not alone, valley walker. God Himself is with us. Emmanuel. Who was, and is, and evermore shall be.
If all you can do this year is thank God for His indescribable gift, then you, my friend, have adequately celebrated Christmas.
Christmas isn’t always merry. Sometimes, Christmas can be sad. So go ahead and sit in it for a while. Do the hard work of grief. Then, let’s do our best to magnify Jesus through our suffering.
I hope you don’t skip Christmas this year.
Also, a new puppy could help. 🐶😍
You are loved!
Audra