I feel like you’ve been silent even though I know you’re here.
I know you’ve never left me, but I cannot feel you near.
I don’t know why I’m doubting when I’ve seen that you are good.
I don’t trust You like I know I should.
How long, O Lord, ’til again Your face I see?
How long, Holy Spirit ’til I feel You holding me?
How long, loving Father, ’til I know Your sweet relief?
Please, Jesus, help my unbelief.
To others you say “yes,” but for me it’s always “no.”
Your miracles surround me and I watch Your glory show.
It’s hard to see the goodness working out for me this time
When the miracles are never mine.
How long, O Lord, ’til again Your face I see?
How long, Holy Spirit ’til I feel You holding me?
How long, loving Father, ’til I know Your sweet relief?
Please, Jesus, help my unbelief.
You’ve been faithful, You are faithful and You always will be.
I can’t see You, I can’t feel You but I know You carry me.
When I doubt you, when I question, when I don’t trust like I should;
In my weakness, in my failures, You’re still good.
Oh, Jesus, help my unbelief.
Touch my weary soul with sweet relief.
Help me trust you when my eyes can’t see,
And remind my heart that You’re still good.
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March 19, 2022
(I wrote this psalm after a particularly hard week in my grief journey. The picture, I drew for Jeremy several years ago while going through the book of Habakkuk.)