“I can’t do this! It hurts too much.”
I remember looking up at my husband with pleading eyes and saying these words. And he looked down at me with compassion and sternly said, “Audra Lynn, you can do this!”
He didn’t offer to help me. He didn’t offer to take the pain for me. He didn’t even offer to remove me from the situation. He just stood there, looking on while I suffered.
The occasion? The birth of our daughter.
Here I am again, saying, “I can’t do this. It hurts too much!” Only this time, I’m saying these words to the Lord. He’s the one beside me, looking down with compassion and saying, “Audra Lynn, you can do this.”
I’ve asked Him for help. I’ve begged him to take the pain from me. I’ve even bargained with Him to remove me from the suffering. But He just sits with me there and tells me to push on.
What Jeremy knew in 2004, and what God knows now, is that birth pangs always precede new life. In the moment, they seem endless and cast shade on the desired prize. But the end result far outweighs the agony of labor. That beautiful, healthy baby girl I would soon hold in my aching arms was worth every ounce of the pain I endured. Even the broken tailbone.
“For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison.”
2 Corinthians 4:17
Paul knew his pain had a purpose. He trusted that God would be glorified through his suffering. His highest goal was to further the Gospel and bring others to Christ, so he focused on the gifts that would be birthed out of this suffering. And not just the gifts in this life, for Paul knew the reward that awaited him in the life to come far surpassed any temporary agony he must endure.
And so must I now focus on the gift being birthed out of my pain. My highest goal must be the glory of my Savior and the salvation of souls. When I think that I can’t do this because the pain is too great, I must remind myself that this pain is temporary.
Just as the presence of my beautiful daughter erased all memory of the birth pangs along the way, I am promised that the presence of my beautiful Savior will erase all of the agony of this life.
The right now hurts. It’s excruciating. Most days, I don’t think I can do this. But I’m not alone. And just as I’m about to give up, the One who stays by my side looks down with compassion and whispers, “Audra Lynn, you can do this.”
TPW 5/25/2022