Thanksgiving has always been a month-long holiday in the Smith home. When our boys were little, our family began an exercise in thanks-living, which became a yearly tradition for us. Each day in the month of November, we write down something for which we are thankful. (It isn’t as easy as you’d think!) Thirty days of giving thanks can be quite a challenge even when you’re not grieving. But it can also develop spiritual discipline that will change your perspective, and your life, if you let it. I came to look forward to this every year. Jeremy and I enjoyed posting our “thankfuls” on our social media and I loved reading what my friends shared on theirs. Our kids wrote their “thankfuls” on leaves and affixed them to the family tree on the living room wall. It was one of my favorite times of year.
Until it wasn’t.
Jeremy passed away in October, so that first November, I tried so hard to go through the motions for the girls’ sake. But when we pulled out the Thanksgiving decorations and I saw the leaves, I got angry. So angry, in fact, that I threw them in the trash. Thinking of 30 things for which we were thankful seemed impossible. Unfair, even. Certainly I couldn’t be expected to be thankful now! I wrestled with my heart for weeks, knowing I should be thankful—but not feeling it. In fact, I’m not sure if I posted even one “thankful” that year. It’s not that I wasn’t thankful for my children and my other blessings, I just couldn’t see past the heartbreak. And I think that was probably okay in that season.
But I couldn’t stay there.
God didn’t tell us to be thankful in all circumstances because He’s a narcissist. He told us to be thankful because it’s good for us. Harvard Health Publishing affirms that, “In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.” We can be sad and still be thankful. Thanks-living is self-care.
But there’s more.
The other reason I can’t stay in the wilderness of ingratitude is because He IS worthy. No matter what I am facing, God is still good. No loss, trial or season of suffering changes who He is. I deserve death and Hell, yet He offers forgiveness, grace and mercy. He gave His own son to die in my place so I can have eternal life. If I never received any other good at His hand, that is enough to command my thanks every day for the rest of my life! And if you are His, the same is true for you.
So, will you join me?
On this first day of Thanksgiving, please comment below, something for which you are thankful. And then, try your hand (and heart) at finding one new thing for each day of November. It doesn’t have to be on social media, but write it down. Keep a list. I promise, you will be glad you did.
At least for this month, let’s turn our pain to praise and our grief to gratitude.
Happy Thanks-living!
I will praise the Lord with my whole heart in the assembly of the upright…
