I had three surgeries the year following my husband’s death. Those three surgeries eradicated an enemy from my body, but also left me quite different than I was before.
Ironically, one of the most unexpected gifts from that season was the scars it left behind.
Those scars are a daily reminder of the fragility of this life. They also attest to the amazing resilience of the human body. And, by God’s grace, my scars remain as the indelible markings of a survivor.
Like tiny triumphant tattoos.
But these marks did not start out as scars. They began as deep wounds. Places where something had been cut away. Tears in the protective fabric of my body that left me a good bit more vulnerable and fragile than I was before.
The body fixes these tears with scar tissue, which is not as strong or resilient or flexible as the tissue it replaces. In fact, that same scar tissue can become its own source of pain if allowed to build up.
So, with intention, we use compression, heat, and massage to break up the scar tissue. Faithfully administering these three, over time, brings healing, flexibility, and strength to what was once a gaping wound.
Losing Jeremy created a massive tear in all of the protective layers of me. Our “two-became-one” was now dissected into something else: something—someone—I didn’t recognize. That gaping heart-wound left me vulnerable, raw, and fragile, and secondary scar tissue only increased the agony.
Yet, with gospel intention, that raw pain, heated by faith, compressed by truth, and massaged with hope, slowly surrendered itself to new strength. Holy Spirit strength.
And somewhere along the way, those invisible scars became my testimony.
Our LORD has scars.
Have you ever wondered why, in His resurrected body, Jesus chose to retain the nail-prints in His hands? Why, do you suppose, was one of the first things He did post-resurrection to show the disciples the spear-wound in His side? Perhaps it was to prove to Thomas and the others that He was the resurrected Christ; but maybe, just maybe, it was also to remind us all that our ultimate healing is only possible because of His sacrifice.
A permanent reminder, proudly displayed as a “you” tattoo. (Is 49:16)
The thing about scars is that they will almost always remain tender, to some degree. And that’s the unexpected gift they give. Because our scars will ever serve to remind us of the fragility of love and life. The scars will attest to the amazing resilience of the human heart. And, most importantly, the scars will remain as the indelible markings of God’s grace in my life, and yours.
Amazing grace…which turns hideous scars into the beautiful tattoos of a survivor.
Someday, this survivor will receive ultimate healing because my name has been tattooed onto the hands of the One who was wounded for me.
And the only scars in Heaven will be His.
