Our congregation enjoyed their first service in our brand new building this past Sunday. I didn’t go. The truth is, I have been both anticipating and dreading this day for the past nine months.
On one hand, this is the day we’ve been praying for and working toward for many years and I’m beyond thankful that I got to see it come to fruition. I’m excited to see what God is going to do with the beautiful new tool He has given us to use. I’m bursting with anticipation at the endless possibilities this new chapter brings.
On the other hand, I can’t help but feel sadness that we are moving forward without Jeremy. This progression was his dream, too. He worked hard and prayed endlessly and gave sacrificially and eagerly longed for the day when he would preach from his place in the beautiful new sanctuary. All the while, he led us humbly and taught us to pray and prepare for rain, while still building the boat.
There’s a story in the Bible that has always bothered me. It takes place at the end of Moses’ life in Deuteronomy. Now, remember: Moses had spent the past 40 years leading God’s whiney, complaining, doubting, disobedient children around a wilderness because of their unbelief. He interceded for them, fought for them, served them and led them with a humble heart. And he loved God and lived above reproach. But in Numbers 20, the complaints got to him and he lost his temper. In so doing, he disobeyed God in front of the congregation and struck the rock instead of speaking to it. The consequences for a leader acting out in prideful disobedience are severe, and Moses was told he would not get to enter the promised land. He could stand on the edge and look in, but could not enter, “Because,” God said, “you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites.” Really?!! After all he’s done for the Lord? Since childhood, I have secretly felt like God may have acted unfairly to Moses here. The punishment was just so harsh!
But that’s because I didn’t understand.
My mind was offended that Moses missed out on his promised land, and my heart was crushed that Jeremy didn’t get to enter his “promised land.” Until the Spirit spoke to my heart and said, “THAT wasn’t their promised land.”
You see, I was thinking way. too. small.
Moses went to Glory with the Lord at his side. His eyes never grew dim and his body never grew weak. God himself buried him. And lest we think God was upset or disappointed in Moses, we can just look to the rest of Scripture to see His pleasure with His servant. He even honors him as a hero of the faith in Hebrews 11.
Canaan was a temporary promised land; only a precursor of things to come. Moses didn’t miss out on his promised land — because Jesus was his promised land. And all that we have in Christ; Heaven and eternity with God are the ultimate fulfillment of the promise.
That also means that the faithful servant of God we knew as Jeremy Smith did not miss out on his reward, either. Oh, no! The reward for Jeremy was never about a building or success or any other thing for which we humans strive. His reward was Jesus. The fulfillment came when God said, “Well done!” The real promised land is an eternity in the Father’s presence. He missed out on nothing!
TobyMac wrote these lyrics after he tragically lost his son:
I won’t give up on this race
Broken but I still have faith
That this old life is all part of a plan
And I can feel it in my soul
One day, I’ll stand before the throne
With nothin’ left but hope and these two hands
Through all these seasons
I’m still believin’
You’re my promised land
In all my grievin’
I’m still believin’
You’re my promised land.
Jeremy’s legacy will undoubtedly live on in the people who grace that new building, because he poured his heart and his spirit into them. But time, and people, and memories are fleeting. What will remain for eternity is the Kingdom work he did outside of the walls of that building. The reward of souls coming to Christ and lives being changed for the glory of God is all he ever really desired. And I know that all of the loss and suffering here in this life suddenly became worth it all, the moment Jeremy saw his Savior face to face.
One day, I, too, will be standing on the edge of the true promised land. I hope I will be found as ready to enter as Jeremy and Moses were. Not flawless, but faithful. Meanwhile, there’s a building here that’s ready and waiting to be used to make Heaven crowded!
August 4, 2022
Yes!! To all of this!! I too have always thought Moses shouldn’t have been punished so harshly there. And o also wrestle with the church that is now experience a growth spurt that Zack had been begging God for and working so hard toward. It’s beautiful and painful at the same time! This is a great perspective shift. People keep telling me I should write. I keep saying my thoughts have already been written by those who are ahead of me on this journey! Thanks!
🩷